George WMD Bush
(Paraphrasing from Uncyclopedia...) George WMD Bush is the greatest gay eskimo to ever live, and is now the president of the Divided States of America. Georgie, a former cocaine-abusing junkie and low achiever, was saved by excessive masturbation. His talents include stuttering on national television, running from public service that isn't "fun," and publicly showing off his lack of intelligence.
Georgie, along with Dan Quayle, invented an academic alternative to traditional cartography, and boldly scorned the use of higher mental functions when leading others. According to Bush's genuine method, Canada is next to Mexico, Osama bin Laden is from Iraq instead of Saudi Arabia, Chicago is a state, and Africa is a country.
Aside from, of course, God, George hangs tight with his 'Publican Crew: Condi "Conizzle-dolizzle-leeza" Rice (AKA Condi "NeoCondi" Rice, cLo), Donald "Dum-Dum" Rumsfeld, Paul "P-Wolf" Wolfowitz' Alberto Gonzales and of course the man on the other end of the transmitter, Klu Klux Karl. Georgie has sparked a revolution of popular culture in the Divided States. People are returning to the old-school values and old-school IQ levels. The "in" thing is shifting from drugs and baggy pants to cowboy hats, invading foreign countries and saying "huh?"(Click here for the full Uncyclopedia article)
posted by Gero @ 12:23 a.m.
11 comments
11 Comments:
Sir, do NOT mock my President like this. It besmirches your character, behooves the troops, hoovers your mother's front livingroom, and smudges my day.
Sincerely,
An Upstanding Citizen
But it is good to be reminded of where my mothers part time eloqution and spellling employment resides....
It is also good to be reminded , from time to time, what a fine, upstanding Member that man is........in fact, it would be quite hard to overlook such a fine example of a member, especially considering that ones fortuitous literary positioning....
:)
Ode To The Twat...
------------------
whether swimming down a river
or nestling in your lap
theres nothing quite as splendid as a freshly discoverd twat.
The odour is pure wonderous
the texture is a joy
what bliss it is
to give it a kiss
so pleased that Im a boy
but twats can be like magnets
where never the twain doth meet
or curiosly opposite
where they pair up under sheets
but this is just a little ditty
to share with you my glee
but then I was reminded of the titties
whilst glancing up from bended knees.
anonymouses little brother
The poet de lorean doeth spake!
upstanding citizens: sit down and be hoovered up - your thyme has cum. Ian: you're up there with the dead poets i.e. brain dead. Professor Batterburger and chips: your motherflahavertness is fooling nobody. Gordon: shut the fuck up.
ew! How uncouth!
I'ts put me right off my salami sandwich.
And, isnt there two "z"s in Profezzor?..and shouldnt one, NEVER start a sentance with "And" , and, shouldnt one never follow a coma with and , and ...........ooh bugger!
Fair enough paul - I don't wanna offend anyone - except maybe uncles coz as you know I'm anti-uncle. And now off to fuck myself in the ass. With a large salami sausage.
by the way - you did get the bill hicks reference, right?
Hmm, so who's actually been copy/pasting all of Ian's comments over and over in the earlier articles?
Why thank you!
I have a blige luuuuuurving protege, im SO pleased! a little Spamming SpamgleBot with an, (incedibly!!!...) Lower social status than I! Excellent keep up the good work, ...oh!¬ yes nealry forgot, rememebr to shooot yourself on th ethird wednesday of th emonth.
in th ehead!
hahah
tootle pip!
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