St. Paddy's Days 05 & 06

The following is to be published in our local Karlsruhe Newspaper in the run up to Saint Patrick's Day this year (in German, like)...

An Introduction to the Festivities

Saint Patrick’s Day (17^th March) is Ireland’s national holiday. It is traditionally celebrated with a parade featuring music, dancing and playacting (not unlike German Fasching) in most towns in Ireland. Countless Irish people and their descendants throughout the world, especially in England, Australia, Canada and America also celebrate this event. In New York and Boston they’ve even been known to dye the rivers green. You’ll also find African and Asian Americans covered in green things and wearing “Kiss Me I’m Irish” hats.

Last year the extended Irish community of Karlsruhe (which includes any and all English speakers and friends located in the general area) decided to organize their own little event, no matter how small, to celebrate being the kind of people who like to celebrate…


17^th March 2005:
Karlsruhe’s First Ever Saint Patrick’s Day Parade

There were 18 of us, two of whom were under the age of three; Anna the two-and-a-half year old, and Isabel the baby who was wearing an Irish football jersey – as was her Dad Liam from Tramore, Co. Waterford. Our pitiable parade headed off from Scruffy’s Irish Pub (led by a mandolin-playing Scruffy and a drum-beating Dave Flynn) on the way to Flynn’s Inn Irish Pub.

Following behind were the rest of us, banging drums and trying to sing along. We started off by singing “Dirty Auld Town”, then “Molly Malone”, followed by “The Fields of Athenry” and finished with a fine rendition of “Whiskey In The Jar”. We marched down Karlstrasse towards Europaplatz handing out “Happy St. Paddy’s Day” flyers, to the general bewilderment of the Karlsruhe public.

As we reached the front of the Post Gallerie, the singing subsided somewhat, until Scruffy roused the troops with his mandolin. One or two passing strangers were actually aware that it was St. Paddy’s Day and what it meant – and smiled with a glint in their eye. Most people seemed to enjoy our little procession of Irish, British, and German lunatics (everyone’s Irish on St. Paddy’s day – as they say in America).

When we reached Flynn’s Inn we decided to quench our thirst with some Guinness, and then return to Scruffys. That had been the idea anyway. But we didn’t make it back out of Flynn’s till the 18^th March.

Prior to the whole event there had been some legal wrangling. Firstly it was realized that we couldn’t go within a kilometre of the German Federal Court House because we were technically a “Protest”, unless we registered as a “Cultural Event”. However our legal consultant then informed us that if we were a “Religious Festival” we could do whatever we liked. So we did. God bless St. Patrick!

17^th March 2006:
Karlsruhe’s Second Ever Saint Patrick’s Day Parade…

This year St. Paddy’s Day is on a Friday! This year we’re going to have more people and everybody will have something to bang on – tambourine, drum, bottle of whiskey etc. This year all of Karlsruhe will be Irish on the 17^th of March. And this year we’ll try to make it back from Flynn’s Inn to Scruffy’s!

The Wart on Error

We always knew that it was a Mickey Mouse operation but this is taking the apple pie... How much sense does it make to have your nineteen year old ass splattered all over a sixteen year old suicide bomber's idealism "...for your country". How is that defending your nation? Sorry for the simplistic bullshit, but it's almost as if the power's that be don't really have our best interests at heart - which would run contrary to everything they've ever taught us to think. The only thing to do at times like these, friends and neighbours, is to offer praise and thanks to the sacred placebo they forced us to believe in. Let's all join hands and pray to that great embedded reporter in the sky. I'm lovin' it...

Limerick Gauntlet thrown down...

There once was a blog by a chap
Who filled the whole thing full of crap
The people who posted
Were generally roasted
And gave all their lovers the clap.

Frau Gerraggkty

Here's my future wife doing her medieval thing. And if anyone mispronounces her new surname, she'll beat the shit out of them with a big stick. Be warned!