meme

A - Accent: Irish, man.
B - Breakfast Item: Music.
C - Chore you hate: Hatred.
D - Dad's Name: Dad.
E - Essential everyday item: Air.
F - Flavour ice cream: Teddy's of Dun Laoghaire.
G - Gold or Silver: Both?
H - Hometown: Dublin, Ireland, Europe.
I - Insomnia: "...Did I leave the iron on?"
J - Job Title: "...I'm a Sheperd."
K - Kids: "...They're Dairylea mad, them kids!"
L - Living arrangements: Loving.
M - Mom's birthplace: Earth.
N - Number of significant others you’ve ever had: Countless millions.
O - Overnight hospital stays: No thanks.
P - Phobias: I'm a phobiaphobic.
Q - Queer?: Elton John and The Pope.
R - Religious Affiliation: Not if I can help it.
S - Siblings: Two sisters, a cat and an imaginary friend.
T - Time you wake up: Late.
U - Unnatural hair colors you've worn: Vomit.
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat: Fish, Southern Comfort, Cher.
W - Worst habit: Burping, Farting, Miltary Dictatorship.
X - X-rays you’ve had: Mind in Amsterdam, Soul in Dublin Mountains.
Y - Yummy: Lasagne à la Tania.
Z - Zodiac sign: Human.

T W A t

One of the best pressies I got at the birthday session in Flynns last night was a book entitled "English as a Second F*cking Language - How to swear effectively, explained in detail with numerous examples taken from everyday life" It's an invaluable source of reference. One entry reads...

twat

See quim

example:
Stewardess: Would you like some of our TWA coffee?
Passenger: No thanks, but I'd love some of your TWA tea.

Friday the 13th!

Thought for the day (courtesy of Ruskin Bond) - "Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong!" Hmmmm...

George WMD Bush

(Paraphrasing from Uncyclopedia...) George WMD Bush is the greatest gay eskimo to ever live, and is now the president of the Divided States of America. Georgie, a former cocaine-abusing junkie and low achiever, was saved by excessive masturbation. His talents include stuttering on national television, running from public service that isn't "fun," and publicly showing off his lack of intelligence.

Georgie, along with Dan Quayle, invented an academic alternative to traditional cartography, and boldly scorned the use of higher mental functions when leading others. According to Bush's genuine method, Canada is next to Mexico, Osama bin Laden is from Iraq instead of Saudi Arabia, Chicago is a state, and Africa is a country.

Aside from, of course, God, George hangs tight with his 'Publican Crew: Condi "Conizzle-dolizzle-leeza" Rice (AKA Condi "NeoCondi" Rice, cLo), Donald "Dum-Dum" Rumsfeld, Paul "P-Wolf" Wolfowitz' Alberto Gonzales and of course the man on the other end of the transmitter, Klu Klux Karl. Georgie has sparked a revolution of popular culture in the Divided States. People are returning to the old-school values and old-school IQ levels. The "in" thing is shifting from drugs and baggy pants to cowboy hats, invading foreign countries and saying "huh?"
(Click here for the full Uncyclopedia article)

hoppy_birdy.2.i

Not my birthday is what it isn't. Another year older isn't what I amn't. "Me Day!" as Derham may say. And the Nay-sayers? They say "Nay!" - but I say "Yay!" - coz it's my fucking birthday! As the the Yappillokians and the Plopsters say... "Yyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!"...

Quarks (and langers)

This simple picture depicts pairs of strange quarks as they pop into and out of existence alongside the permanent quark residents of the proton. Nuclear physicists have found that strange quarks, though present for just tiny fractions of a second at a time, also contribute to the proton's properties.

But in Germany, quark is a light edible substance not dissimilar to cheesecake mix which can be purchased in any good bakery in a variety of forms. One of the positive side effects of consuming quark is, reputedly, a disinclination to... "bottle things up, bringing closer the day when langers will explode in a PUMMELLING, SCREAMING RAGE OF MONKEY JEALOUSY." Apparently.